i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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