well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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