My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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