My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
So vagazzling was a success
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize