Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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