my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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