In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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