I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
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she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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