Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
soo... how was my night?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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