so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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