Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize