With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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