So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Found the puke drawer
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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