i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
