Soap is not a condiment
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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