Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize