I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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