it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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