i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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