I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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