He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
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i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
This is classic penis vs brain.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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