I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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