just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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