you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
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just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
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I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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