my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Enjoy the penises
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize