we're chasing vodka with high fives
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You are a genius and a whore.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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