Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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