If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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