drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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