Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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