Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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