i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize