everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
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Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
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Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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