If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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