I got chris browned last night
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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