i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize