im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize