You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize