I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
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