Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize