just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
i think i just lost a toe
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
