Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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