she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
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she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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