I can text with my tongue
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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