i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
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90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
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My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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