i already hear my dad disowning me
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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