I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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