You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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