I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize