i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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